Episode 156 | June 11, 2026 | 33:35
Someone posted on Reddit that they spent more than $4,000 on a conference and came home with six business cards sitting on their desk. No meetings booked, no real conversations, no follow-up calls scheduled. They did everything people tell you to do. They worked the expo floor, sat through sessions, showed up to the networking cocktail hour. And they still felt like they had wasted their money. Their question was simple: What do you actually do before a conference to make it worth going? I have been to enough conferences, and come home from enough of them with real relationships, that I have an answer. It starts before you ever pack a bag.
Key Takeaways
| The number that tells you a conference was worth it is follow-up calls scheduled, not business cards collected. Five scheduled calls is a successful conference. | |
| Make a list of three to five people you actually want to meet. A list of 20 is a list of nobody. | |
| Reach out before the conference with something specific and an easy yes. “Let’s connect” is the message everyone sends and nobody answers. | |
| Skipping a session to have a real conversation in the hallway is usually the better trade. Sessions repeat; conversations don’t. | |
| Sit at a different table for meals. Meals are where the best connections happen, because you finally have time. | |
| Create small host moments. Invite a few people for coffee, offer a quick training. The best networkers are the best givers. | |
| Schedule your follow-up calls before you leave the building. Wait until you get home and life takes over, and the calls never happen. |
Here’s what that Reddit poster ran into, and what a lot of us run into: They treated the conference like a place to learn. Conferences are actually a place to connect. You will pick up ideas from sessions, and that’s great, but the real value lives in the people you meet, the conversations that go somewhere, and the follow-up calls you schedule before you leave.
Sessions are easy to replicate. Real conversations are not.
I measure every conference by one number: How many follow-up calls did I schedule? Five scheduled calls with a clear purpose tells me the conference was worth it. But 50 business cards with zero follow-ups tells me I spent money to stand in a crowd.
How to Prepare for a Conference: Pick 3-5, Not 20
The Reddit poster tried to connect with 20 people through the conference app and got two responses. The reason is simple. “Let’s connect at the conference” is a message everyone sends and nobody answers. It asks for time without offering anything in return.
Make a short list instead. Three to five people whose work you respect, who serve the same audience you do, or who you’re simply curious about. Then reach out with something specific.
The best networkers are the best givers.
Something like, “I saw your session on [topic] and I would love to grab coffee and hear more about how you’re thinking about [specific thing]. I’m working on something similar and I think we’d have a great conversation. I’m free Tuesday at 10 a.m. or Wednesday at 2 p.m., does either work?” You’ve offered a real exchange, done your homework, and made it easy to say yes by naming a time and place. That’s what gets a response.
Before you leave for your next conference, answer two questions for yourself.
- What are my specific goals here, beyond the word “network”? Something like five follow-up calls scheduled, or three potential referral partners met.
- What do I have to give? If you’re good at helping people think through pricing, offer a quick training. If you’re great at connecting people, plan to introduce two people who should know each other.
The Three-Lens Framework is a useful way to pressure-test those goals before you commit travel and time to them.
What to Focus On During the Conference
Here’s the part nobody tells you: It’s okay to skip sessions. If a session isn’t giving you something actionable or putting you in the room with someone you need to meet, leave. Go sit in the hallway with a coffee and have a real conversation instead. Invite three people to grab lunch. Those small, intentional moments are worth more than another panel that says nothing new.
Don’t eat every meal with people you already know.
I aim for one to three real conversations per session break. A real conversation means I learned their name, what they do, and how we might support each other. Three of those in a day is a good day. And the easiest networking move most people skip: Sit at a different table for meals. Don’t eat every meal with the people you came with. Sit somewhere new and introduce yourself. Meals are where some of the best connections happen, because you aren’t rushing between sessions, you’re just sitting there eating and talking with time on your hands.
One more thing I do at every conference is create small host moments. I invite three or four people for coffee, or offer a quick 15-minute training outside a meeting room. You don’t have to be a speaker or a well-known name to do this. You just have to be generous, and people remember who was generous.
The Follow-Up Is the Real Work
This is where most people fall apart. They come home with business cards, tell themselves they will follow up, and then life takes over and they don’t. So do the work while you’re still there. After a great conversation, say, “I’d love to continue this. Can we schedule a call for next week? How’s Tuesday at 2 p.m.?” Get it on the calendar before you leave the building.
For anyone you did not book a call with but want to stay connected to, send a short email within 48 hours. Something like, “Hey [name], great meeting you at [conference]. I loved hearing about [specific thing they shared]. Let’s stay connected.” Short, personal, specific.
Then actually show up to the calls you scheduled. Treat them like client calls. Be prepared, offer value, and follow through. That’s how a conference conversation becomes a real relationship.
Six real conversations that turned into real relationships. That’s the ROI.
What This Actually Looks Like
A few years ago I went to a conference with three people on my list. I reached out to all three beforehand, and two said yes to coffee. At the conference I had those two coffee meetings, sat at different tables for meals and had four or five conversations with people I hadn’t planned to meet, and skipped two sessions to take three people to lunch and talk about referral partnerships. By the end I had six scheduled follow-up calls, and three of those turned into ongoing collaborations that are still going today. Six real conversations that turned into real relationships. That is the ROI.
If you are going to FinCon this year, September 16-18 in Palm Springs, I would love to connect. I’m speaking on the main stage about how to build a business your audience actually pays for, and I’m hosting a happy hour for financial coaches. Registration is open at finconexpo.com, and code KELSA50 gets you $50 off. If you’re on the fence, next week I am replaying my interview with Philip Taylor, the founder of FinCon, and I think it will help.
Why this matters for your practice
The instinct most coaches bring to a conference is the same instinct that makes a coaching session feel productive: gather more, do more, fill every slot. A conference rewards the opposite. The coaches who come home with relationships are the ones who picked a few people, gave something before they asked for anything, and protected time for the unscheduled conversation. This week, if you have a conference on your calendar, write down your three to five names and the one thing you can offer each of them. That single act of narrowing is the same discernment you bring to choosing which clients to take and which offers to build, and it is worth practicing on a smaller stage first.
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