How to Turn DM Conversations into Real-World Connections

The Problem with DM Conversations

When we’re talking face-to-face, we pick up on emotions, ask follow-up questions, and get unedited answers. In DMs, we miss out on all that good stuff. Ever had to re-read a message to figure out if someone is mad at you? Or spent ages crafting the perfect response? That’s the downside of online chats.

As coaches, if we don’t know how to move these conversations offline, we might miss out on helping someone who really needs us. We could end up stuck in a chat that’s going nowhere or, worse, get ghosted and wonder what went wrong.

What Not to Do in Your DMs

Don’t pounce with a sales pitch

You know those messages that pop up in your inbox saying, “Want to learn how to get more leads? Let’s hop on a call!” Yeah, don’t be that person. It’s a turn-off and most people hit delete without even finishing the message. Take time to build some rapport first.

Don’t put on a fake persona

It’s tempting to try and sound super professional or formal in writing. But if someone’s drawn to your social media presence and then gets a stuffy robot in their DMs, it’s confusing. You might overthink your responses and end up sounding nothing like yourself. Remember, they connected with you because they liked you, so just be you.

Don’t start coaching for free

When someone shares a problem, it’s so tempting to jump in with “Have you tried this?” or “What about that?” Before you know it, you’re deep into a coaching session via DM. It’s not effective, and it’s hard to backtrack once you’ve started. Plus, it sets the expectation that this is something you do for free.

Don’t let the chat go on forever

The more back-and-forth, the more likely the energy dies. People start to disengage if you’re asking tons of questions or diving deep into their issues via text. They might think, “I don’t know this person well enough to share all this.” Keep it short and sweet.

What to Do Instead: 6 Tips for Effective DM Conversations

Connect and validate like a real person

Read between the lines. If someone says they’re “angry with themselves” about spending, that’s vulnerable stuff. Acknowledge it: “That must feel awful to keep getting angry with yourself about spending. I’m so sorry you’re going through that.” Show them you see them and get it.

Sound like yourself

Before you hit send, read your message out loud. Does it sound like you? Or does it sound like a robot wrote it? Be confident, be you. If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t say it in a DM.

Move it offline, but naturally

Don’t jump straight to “Let’s schedule a free 20-minute Q&A call!” Instead, try something like, “I’d love to learn more about what you’re experiencing. It’s usually easier to chat about this stuff on the phone. I’ve got some time tomorrow – would you be free to connect then?” Make it about them, not your process.

Check if they’re ready for help

Sometimes it’s okay to ask directly: “Is this something you’re looking to get help with?” or “Are you ready to tackle this?” It can open the door to a real conversation without you jumping into coach mode too soon.

Own your expertise

If you know you can help, say so confidently. “This is exactly the kind of thing I help people with. I’d love to help you too.” It builds trust and shows you’re not just fishing for clients.

Make the next step crystal clear

Whether it’s hopping on a call or joining your waitlist, spell it out. “Your next step would be to grab a spot on our waitlist. I’m going to have a couple of spots opening up soon, and I know I can help you solve this. Here’s the link to join.” Don’t leave them guessing what to do next.

Remember, the goal is to move from typed-out chats to real conversations where you can truly help someone. These tips should help you navigate those tricky DM waters and turn online connections into real-world clients. It’s all about being yourself, showing you understand, and making it easy for people to take that next step with you.

Let’s talk about how NOT to invite someone to a call

“Is this something you’d be open to working through together? We can schedule a free 20-minute Q&A call where I learn about your goals and you ask me questions.”

This focuses too much on you and your process.

What to do instead

“I’d love to learn more about what you’re experiencing and share some insights on first steps you could take. It’s easier to talk about this on the phone. I have some time tomorrow at 3 pm – would you be free to connect then?”

This approach focuses on how the call will help them and feels more like a natural conversation.

By following these tips, you can turn those awkward DM exchanges into meaningful conversations that lead somewhere. Remember, the goal is to connect with people who need your help and move those connections into the real world where you can make a bigger impact.