The Missing Piece of Financial Change: The Conative Mind Explained

Today, we’re introducing the missing piece that explains why people don’t take action even when they know what to do and even when they feel supported.

What Financial Coaches Already Know About the Mind

Most of us are familiar with the cognitive part of our mind. This is the part that handles conscious thought, reasoning, and processing of information. It’s logical, analytical. It’s the knowing part of the mind.

As financial professionals, we’ve learned to trust this part of our brain. We can think through problems, see options and the steps to take, and logically work through things. Give us a problem to overthink and we’ll be your best friend.

We also have the affective mind. This is how we feel: our emotions, impulses, values, personality. This is the part of the mind that drives motivation and determines personal preferences. And we’re finally seeing this get more attention in the personal finance space, which is great.

These two parts of the mind, cognitive and affective, are constantly interacting. Someone might know they should save money (cognitive) but feel the urge to spend because it brings temporary joy (affective).

Most financial content, whether it’s being consumed online or it’s in a coaching conversation, knowingly or unknowingly, hits these two parts consistently.

Examples of Cognitive and Affective Content in Financial Coaching

Here are some examples of cognitive-based content:

• How to calculate your net worth step by step (purely a reasoning and math exercise)
• Five ways to optimize your credit score (understanding a system and rules)
• Roth IRA versus traditional IRA breakdowns (knowledge-based comparison)

Here are some examples of affective-based content:

• How to align your spending with your values (emotional and identity-driven)
• Money personality quizzes (asks about personal preferences)
• Overcoming shame, guilt, or fear around money (addresses emotional barriers)

These probably sound familiar, right? Maybe even like your own content or advice you talk with clients about. And nothing is wrong with any of this. This isn’t a “stop what you’re doing” message. This is a “keep doing what you’re doing, but let’s add what’s missing.”

Introducing the Conative Mind: The Action Part That Drives Change

What if there’s a third part of the mind, and it’s the one that determines whether people actually do something with what you teach? It’s the one that determines whether change happens at all.

If cognitive is thinking and affective is feeling, then conative is doing.

Here’s where the conative mind comes in. Let’s say your boss or your parent came to you and gave you a specific outcome or result that they wanted. They said, “Here’s what I need. Feel free to solve this problem or create that result any way you want.”

Your conative mind is your approach to getting that thing done. It’s the way you take action. It’s the way you naturally problem solve.

Here’s one of the coolest parts about the conative mind. You can grow your cognitive mind (you can gain more knowledge or acquire financial literacy). Your affective mind can shift too (feelings change, you can better understand your preferences, your personality changes throughout your life). But the conative mind? There was a 20-year validity study done on it, and it showed that over a person’s life during that 20-year time span, their conative mind did not significantly change.

The conative mind is what drives action, follow-through, and problem solving. It reflects each of our natural approaches to getting things done. It is literally the part of the mind that determines the application of knowledge, the application of your guidance. Whether clients take action is dependent on whether or not you are satisfying their conative mind.

And it doesn’t change. It’s instinctive in each of us.

The conative mind is how people take action, and yet we’re oftentimes leaving it out entirely. Or what we see most often is that the guidance and content we’re delivering is based on our conative minds and not our clients’.

How Financial Professionals Naturally Take Action

We have this really unique insight because we run two sides of our business: a boutique, high-touch financial coaching practice working with people one-on-one, often weekly, and a training company where we mentor financial professionals. We’ve gathered data on how each segment instinctively takes action, and patterns have unfolded that are fascinating.

Among financial professionals, here’s what we’ve found:

75% share a common instinct for gathering detailed information. Three out of four financial professionals start by gathering detailed information. They feel most confident when they’ve gathered a lot of information, explored what’s worked and not worked for others, and made sure nothing important is being overlooked. They’ll often want to see the numbers down to the penny. They feel more prepared when they’ve researched all possible angles and have clear definitions in place. This is a huge strength.

You can see examples of how this shows up in our content and messaging:

• “You should know where every dollar goes”
• “You have a category for every expense on your budget”
• Being very specific: if an annual bill is $500/year, saying you should put aside $41.67/month into savings
• A client says their credit card balance is $5k and the coach says “Yes, it’s $5,126”

87% naturally create order from chaos. Almost nine out of ten of us take a jumble of information and start organizing it into steps, checklists, or color-coded charts, not because we have to, but because our brain automatically works that way. We tend to look for ways to make financial tasks repeatable and efficient. There’s a systematic element to our approach. We love mapping out a clear plan or timeline for a client, complete with milestones, because our brain automatically sequences things. This is your superpower.

Examples of this instinct in action:

• “Don’t contribute to your 401k until you’re out of debt”
• Giving tactical, step-by-step advice
• Preferring manual steps or automated ones, but if there’s both, they’re indicated as such

Nearly 60% avoid risk and prefer certainty. Almost two out of three of us avoid risk and prefer certainty and preparation over trial and error. We’re not an experiment-and-learn-as-you-go kind of action taker. We rarely “jump right in” to anything. To some people in our life, this might look like indecisiveness or procrastination, but really, we’re just following our innate process. Based on the other areas mentioned, we may be deliberating, weighing options, researching, or creating a plan, but rarely do we dive in and figure it out as we go. We move steadily versus leaps of faith or rapid experimentation. This is a huge strength.

Here are some examples of where this shows up:

• “What to do when X happens”
• “How to handle an emergency”
• “How to overcome this setback should it arise”
• “Watch out for these 5 budget busters”

These instincts are the cause of a lot of financial content creators not launching financial coaching businesses. The need for more information is difficult to satiate. You want a step-by-step roadmap of how to launch along with a timeline and checklist. And you may not love risk, so needing to improvise during a session when talking with people can feel scary.

Keep in mind that we are all nuanced individuals and none of us are all of something and none of something else. All of this occurs on a scale. But does any of this sound familiar? If you’re thinking, “Yes, that is literally me,” then that is your conative strength. And it’s why your systems work for you.

You might assume everyone wants all the details, a perfectly sequenced plan, clear step-by-step roadmaps. But let’s look at the people we’re trying to help.

Understanding Your Clients’ Instincts for Taking Action

Among everyday clients, here’s the data we’ve gathered:

Instead of 75% of financial professionals who want to dive into the details or source a lot of information, only 20% of our clients want all the details upfront. From three out of four financial professionals to one in five clients with this instinct.

Instead of 87% of financial professionals who like to map out a plan, only 20% of clients want step-by-step plans. From nine out of ten professionals with this instinct to one out of five everyday folks; a significant difference.

And instead of 60% wanting to take a measured, non-risky approach to solving problems, only 20% of clients worry about having contingencies mapped out before starting. So two out of three financial professionals do not dive in to learn, whereas four out of five clients prefer to learn by doing. They need variety. They get bored with repetition.

One thing we say, and we know a lot of financial professionals say, is: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” How many of you have said that?

Whereas our clients are like, “I don’t care if it’s broken, let’s change it up. Let’s mix things up a bit.” They’re probably saying something more like “risk is the spice of life.”

Why the Instinct Gap Matters for Client Retention

Here’s one thing to try if you have a retention problem. If you struggle with clients completing your program or fizzling out, losing motivation (maybe they start off strong but then you tend to lose them and you’re not sure why), start asking if they’re bored. Chances are the answer is yes. Then look for ways to experiment and try new things, because that is what they need.

Now, your way of taking action is not wrong, Coach. And your clients’ way of taking action isn’t wrong either. They’re just different. And honoring that difference is where coaching lives. If you don’t embrace that, you’re unintentionally making it harder for your clients to succeed because you’re making it harder for them to take action.

This mismatch, the instinct gap, the disconnect between the natural approach to financial challenges that we have as financially minded people and the natural approach to those same challenges that the people we’re trying to help have… this is what we must solve.

Your practitioner’s playbook often clashes with your clients’ instincts. It is the instinct gap that is stopping people from being able to take action and see results with their money. It is this disconnect that makes so much financial content and advice ineffective despite a very sincere desire to help people.

How the Instinct Gap Shows Up in Financial Coaching

There’s another reason this matters so much. The examples of the messaging we shared, messaging that represents how we best take action, is impacting the way people see financial professionals. And it impacts the way people see the role we play in their lives.

Think about a parent or a coach or a boss who said to you: “Why are you doing it that way?” or “You’re still researching that?” or “You haven’t started yet? Just go figure it out. Jump in. It will be fine.”

And maybe you’re thinking, “But I haven’t figured it all out yet” or “I don’t know enough yet” or “But I don’t know what will happen though.”

Imagine how that feels to be on the receiving end of those comments. That is that person’s conative mind tackling the problem differently than yours.

Well, the everyday consumer, the everyday American, the people struggling with money who aren’t savvy financial people like us, they don’t want the level of detail you want to share in order to understand something. They don’t want to track every penny in order to feel like they have a handle on where their money is going. They want to know they can try something new and you aren’t going to be disappointed because they didn’t follow the plan perfectly. They want to learn by doing.

And again, they’re not wrong for feeling this way or wanting these things because it’s 100% based on their conative mind, a conative mind that is very different from the majority of financial professionals.

Why Your Financial Coaching Creates Friction Instead of Action

When our content or our coaching is created from the perspective of high detail-sharing, high system-building like a step-by-step plan, or an overly steady or measured approach, we’re actually making it harder for our clients to take action. We’re creating the instinct gap.

We’re overloading with information. Giving someone everything they need to know all at once might feel thorough to us, but for some people, it’s overwhelming and paralyzing.

We’re over-structuring the plan. Mapping out every single step can feel like a checklist of ways to fail, which can leave clients hesitant to even start. That is something our clients have shared with us. A step-by-step plan, to our clients, feels like a checklist of ways that they are simply going to fail. We don’t know about you, but we love a plan. We love a step-by-step, detailed plan. But our clients don’t see it that way.

We’re insisting there’s only one right way. For people who prefer to learn by doing, this kills momentum and curiosity before they even begin.

People worry that they have to show up as someone they are not when they hire a financial professional like us. They think they have to fit our mold in order to be good with money.

All of this combines and contributes to people feeling like they’ll never be good with money.

How to Bridge the Instinct Gap in Your Coaching

But we can fix it, Coach. Together, we wholeheartedly believe that we can fix this.

Once you start honoring your client’s natural way of taking action, you will see results shift. Not because you taught more, but because you matched how they’re wired.

You can bridge the instinct gap. And when you do, coaching gets easier, it becomes more enjoyable, and it will get your clients even better results than you’re getting them now.

We’ve spent the last 10 years studying this instinct gap, and in the next episode, we’re going to pick up here. We’re clear on the problem now, so let’s get busy talking about solutions.

What’s Next for Coaches Ready to Bridge the Gap

In the next episode, we walk through a practical, three-step framework you can use right away to shift your approach so that your clients actually follow through. This is about matching their instincts, not fighting them.